I can’t remember the last time I had tears streaming down my face, cheeks wet with the stains of grief.

Maybe I’ve been too busy.

Maybe I’ve been numb to the world and its issues or numb to my own pain.

One of the neighborhood girls was going through a difficult time, an unprecedented loss. And because God often needs to reveal our brokenness before there’s any openness to Him, I took the opportunity to invite her to church.

I don’t know why God allows loss and pain, why He calls us to walk through brokenness, but I do know that it’s in those times we learn the only One who can truly satisfy is Him and Him alone. It’s a road no one would ever choose to travel but one that is necessary for a forgetful world all too easily assured they can do it on their own.

The morning was rough, and the tears started early. For some things there are no words, just a deep groaning and creaking of the soul as it bears down under the weight of the world, awaiting the new life born out of the pain. Putting my arm around her, I sat close.

When it was time for communion, we stopped to pray together, and the Lord began to wring the drenched towel of my heart, wet with the grief I silently soaked up during service. I wept.

I grabbed her in a bear hug from the side, my head pressed against hers, and whispered prayers in her ear as we cried together.

Lord, please comfort her in her pain.

We know you’re close to the brokenhearted.

Replace her anxious thoughts with a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Lord, hold her close and let her know you’re here. She needs you.

….I AM.

Clear as the salt water running down my face, it resonated in my heart.

I AM.

It almost took my breath away.

I am holding her, said Jesus, because you are.