Life with Little Ones

There were a few months in time after Toby was born in 2010 that we had 3 kids ages 3 and under, and then 4 kids 5 and under for a few weeks after Eva was born this past November. I always have the baby on my hip these days, and people never fail to comment on how cute she is, which is normally followed up by, "oh, is she your first?" The look of surprise across their face when I reply, "no, she's my fourth," never gets old. There's apparently a shock value to that statement, and I enjoy it.

"Wow! You really have your hands full!"

"Wow! You must be really busy."

"Is it hard keeping track of that many kids?"

"Is four a lot to handle?"

The answer is, YES! Life with little ones, especially when ALL of them are so little, is tough. Some days are long, frustrating, exhausting, and brutal. The whining, complaining, mess, and poop never end. Sometimes I want to lock myself in the bathroom and ignore all the chaos erupting just outside the door. But for every terrible, no good, crappy, crappy, crappy day, there is a proportionally wonderful, heart-touching, lovely, great day to balance it out. Otherwise, why would we continue to have these little blessings in the form of children? Or perhaps someone needs to explain to me again where babies come from...

In my particular situation, a lot of the exhaustion comes from the fact that they are all so little and still need help with a lot of things. Brushing four sets of teeth, tying four pairs of shoes, picking out four sets of clothes and helping them get dressed, and so on...every...day... I know there will come a day when I just have to get myself ready each morning, but I honestly can't picture that at the moment. With Clayton in kindergarten this past year, it forced some of them to grow up a little and start taking care of themselves on their own. I relish the times when I'm able to launch them into a newfound area of independence! Change is often hard but sooooo worth it.

Gone are the days of bathing four children, as the two big ones take a shower themselves. Out of convenience and pure laziness on our part as of late, we've been putting Toby in the shower with Clayton to eliminate yet another bath time from our plate. Clayton is gone for a few days this week, however, and Ruby was very excited to have Toby as a shower buddy. They ran upstairs, by themselves, to hop in the shower. We assumed things were going okay until we heard Ruby yell,

"Mom!! I can't wash Toby's poopy butt!"

Hmm.

Perhaps we should've explained the rules of showering before we sent them streaking up the stairs... Everybody washes their own parts. Details. Alas, we had to help with bath time after all, but at least not without a good laugh. :)

I Deserve This...

It's a crisp fall day, I mean, spring day here in Cleveland at a balmy 45 degrees. I'm snuggled up on the couch with a late lunch while my two littlest ones {and the only ones home, at the moment!} are curled up sleeping... Ahh... Add a warm cup of coffee, The Chew, and some blogging, and I'm in heaven, people. In moments like these, it's soooooo easy to think, "sit back and relax this afternoon away, momma, you deserve this...."

I heard a statement many years ago that stopped me in my tracks and continues to do so when it crosses my mind. Now this is the cold, hard truth, you guys, so brace yourselves:


The only thing I deserve is an eternity in Hell.


Ouch.

Stop and let that sink in for a moment.

How often do we tell ourselves that we deserve something, either subconsciously or consciously? I catch myself all the time, sometimes daily:

I deserve to stop at Starbucks this morning. After all, I was sooo busy getting everyone else ready and taken care of this morning that I just didn't have time to grab some coffee at home.

I deserve to sleep in 10 more minutes {even though I know it will make us borderline late, stressed, and rushed} because two kids were up in the middle of the night.

I deserve to take a ridiculously long shower, even though I assured my husband I would be "quick" so we could get to church on time.

I deserve a day away from my children. I deserve to go shopping at the mall. I deserve this chocolate bar, to watch my TV show, this new car, a few drinks, this vacation, this new stuff for my hobby...

...until you allow the reality of your sinfulness and brokenness to really seep in. Apart from Christ, we are all sinners who deserve one thing: an eternity in Hell. All we are, all we have, and all we can afford to buy and do is because of the kindness, mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. I don't know about you, but I don't want a false attitude of entitlement permeating my life, and I especially don't want it in the lives of my children.

How often do we really stop to ponder the goodness, kindness, love and grace of God, that while we were still sinners, He sent His Son, His perfect, sinless Son, to hang on the cross and die a sinners death... for us. He was made to be sin for us so we wouldn't have to be anymore. EVERYTHING we are and have is because of Him. We don't deserve any of it. Your money? Ya, it's His. Your car? His. Your time? His. Your home? Yep, His again. You get the idea.

God longs to bless us abundantly with gifts because of His great love and kindness, and He also wants us to enjoy those gifts!! But as you enjoy them, keep the Giver in mind and ask Him how He might want you to use those things He's so richly blessed you with. As summer approaches and the kids are so excited to be done with school, bask in the sun, and hang out at the pool {just about as much as their parents!}, I'd encourage you to think beyond yourselves and what you deserve this season.

Take some time to pray and ask God what He wants you to do with your time, talent, and resources for His kingdom this summer. There are so many needs out there, and you might be just the person He wants to use to meet them! Serve. Bless. Give. Encourage. Love. And enjoy your summer!

Come & Dance with the King

I spoke at our women's ministry meeting in February this year, which was a BIG step out for me, despite my copious public speaking experience in 4H growing up {insert gratefulness for my mother's stubbornness and stick-to-it-ness here, although I wasn't at the time}. In fact, when I received the planning email regarding the need for a speaker, my immediate response was, ya...NO. Didn't even take a minute, no, a second, to pray about it and ask the Lord what He might want. After all, I just had a baby a couple months ago. I wasn't even getting a full night's sleep yet. I was busy with life. And besides, what would I have to say that all those women would actually want to hear? It simply wasn't an option. 

A funny thing happens when you tell God a big, resounding NO. I think sometimes He takes that as a challenge. Soon afterwards I began noticing Him chipping away at my hardened heart. There were a couple messages on the radio that hit home. I heard something here, read something there. The icing on the cake was watching the Veggie Tales movie Sweet Pea Beauty with my kids one evening {because God can even speak through a kid's movie, right?}. He had reached down and touched my heart with a message I knew I needed to explore and share with others. Right then I asked God for forgiveness, pulled out my phone, and wrote an email volunteering to speak. I knew if I didn't do it right then when I felt the conviction that I would ultimately fail and chicken out. 

In the weeks leading up to my talk, I was attacked by satan from many angles. I felt overwhelmed with life, like a failure as a mom, and I came down with a terrible case of strep two days before I was scheduled to speak. God needed to speak to me first and solidify all I was about to teach in my own heart. Before it got lost in the abyss of my mind, I wanted to write it down here. It loses a little something absent the delivery, but you'll get the idea. So without further ado, here it is...

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I began the evening with a clip from the movie Sweet Pea Beauty. It was the story of Snoodlerella {Cinderella}, who was the ugliest Snoodle in town. {If you haven't seen the movie, I'd encourage you to do so because this blurb won't do it justice. It's a cute movie with a powerful message for women of all ages.} She has always been told how unsightly she is, so she finds it very hard to believe that the King himself wants to dance with her at the ball. As they dance he proceeds to tell her that she's beautiful, wonderfully made, kind, and that he loves her, crazy hair and cumbersome graces included. She so desperately wants to believe what He says, but how can she know it's true? Because the King created her exactly the way she is, and He took such delight in doing so. 

Your Identity in Christ: Who God Intended You to Be

I’d like to invite you to dance with the King. Take a minute to glance over the Identity in Christ handout. What are your initial thoughts? Do certain ones stand out to you over others? 

My {Identity} in Christ

I am a child of God. {John 1:12}

I am a branch of the true vine, a conduit of Christ’s life. {John 15:1,5}

I am a friend of Jesus. {John 15:15}

I have been justified and redeemed. {Romans 3:24}

My old self was crucified with Christ, and I am no longer a slave to sin. {Romans 6:6}

I will not be condemned by God. {Romans 8:1}

I have been set free from the law of sin and death. {Romans 8:2}

As a child of God, I am a fellow heir with Christ. {Romans 8:17}

I have been accepted by Christ. {Romans 15:7}

I have been called to be a saint. {1 Corinthians 1:2, Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, and Colossians 1:2}

In Christ Jesus, I have wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. {1 Corinthians 1:30}

My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me. {1 Corinthians 6:19}

I am joined to the Lord and am one spirit with Him. {1 Corinthians 6:17}

God leads me in the triumph and knowledge of Christ. {2 Corinthians 2:14}

The hardening of my mind has been removed in Christ. {2 Corinthians 3:14}

I am a new creature in Christ. {2 Corinthians 5:17}

I have become the righteousness of God in Christ. {2 Corinthians 5:21}

I have been made one with all who are in Christ Jesus. {Galatians 3:28}

I am no longer a slave, but a child and an heir. {Galatians 4:7}

I have been set free in Christ. {Galatians 5:1}

I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. {Ephesians 1:3}

I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God. {Ephesians 1:4}

I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ. {Ephesians 1:7}

I have been predestined by God to obtain an inheritance. {Ephesians 1:11}

I have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. {Ephesians 1:13}

Because of God’s mercy and love, I have been made alive with Christ. {Ephesians 2:4-5}

I am seated in the heavenly places with Christ. {Ephesians 2:6}

I am God’s workmanship created to produce good works. {Ephesians 2:10}

I have been brought near to God by the blood of Christ. {Ephesians 2:13}

I am a member of Christ’s body and a partaker of His promise. {Ephesians 3:6 & 5:30}

I have boldness and confident access to God through faith in Christ. {Ephesians 3:12}

My new self is righteous and holy. {Ephesians 4:24}

I was formerly darkness, but now I am light in the Lord. {1 John 1:5-7}

I am a citizen of heaven. {Philippians 3:20}

The peace of God guards my heart and mind. {Philippians 4:7}

God supplies all my needs. {Philippians 4:19}

I have been made complete in Christ. {Colossians 2:10}

I have been raised up with Christ. {Colossians 3:1}

My life is hidden with Christ in God. {Colossians 3:3}

Christ is my life, and I will be revealed with Him in glory. {Colossians 3:4}

I have been chosen of God, and I am holy and beloved. {Colossians 3:12}

God loves me and has chosen me. {1 Thessalonians 1:4}


 For some of you, this is old news. For others, maybe this is the first time you have read something like this. Either way, one thing is certain—we all live in a world that tells us these things are not true, or at the very least, makes them hard to believe at times. Whether it’s the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves or believing what the world says we need to be, it’s very easy to feel overwhelmed, defeated, less-than, and like we can never measure up or quite get it together. And, ironically, that is exactly how I felt during the week I was preparing this message. God definitely needed to speak to me first!!

So what determines your worth? What is it for you? Is it a pat on the back, having the nicest clothes, the best behaved children, the most likes on Facebook, the cleanest house, eating the healthiest food, or having been so incredibly productive today? The world will tell you that you need to DO something to be significant, to fit in all the right categories, to know the right people, to look a certain way, to have the big house, to be better, have more, to work harder. Then you will finally be worthy. You will have arrived. 

So what do we do? We work two jobs. We put our kids in multiple extracurricular activities by age 3. We don’t have time to eat dinner as a family anymore because we are running every which way after school. We by things we can't afford to impress people we don’t even like. The result of that is feeling hurried, stressed, overwhelmed, guilty, and constant comparison to others, coveting what they have and trying to figure out how you can get it, too. And we don’t have time anymore for anyone, including our family, whom we’re supposed to love and care about. What an exhausting way to live. Maybe that resonates with some of you here tonight. Are you tired of the rat race? Are you ready for a change?

 The good news is that God says you don’t need to do anything to be significant, you already are, simply because He made you. You just have to BE YOU. Isn’t that wonderful? There are no checklists, no expectations, no if-onlys, no measuring up. And there is FREEDOM to be found there, my friends. Freedom, rest, joy, peace, purpose, permission to slow down, to stop comparing, and to enjoy yourself, exactly the way you are, how God made you.

So that begs the question, how do you get there? How do you look at that list and BELIEVE, truly believe, those things about yourself? The first thing is pretty straight-forward: simply choose to believe, like a child. In time your heart will follow your head. It might be a daily choice, or even by the hour or minute. This might be more difficult for those who have a painful or traumatic past. If that's the case for you, I'd recommend unpacking that with someone, whether that'd be a counselor or a trusted friend. Put the handout somewhere that you'll see it regularly, and spend time reading it over and praying about it.  Doing to will allow God to begin changing and healing your heart. Secondly, consistently spend time with the Lord in his His Word. As you get to know Him better, you will begin to see the world, and yourself, through His eyes. And finally, surround yourself with people who are seeking the Lord. You need others to come alongside and encourage you in your journey.

God Made You Special: What He Created You to Do

The fact is, you need to know who God created you to BE before you can do what he’s called you to DO. Otherwise we operate from a platform of lies, which will ultimately steer us off the intended path. What makes you unique? One of my favorite parts of the video clip is when the King talks about loving Snoodlerella's “cumbersome graces.” Even things that seem like mistakes or flaws to us are beautiful in God's eyes. 

What is something you are uniquely good at? Everyone has something: something you enjoy, something that comes very easily to you. Sometimes it’s hard to see it in yourself and you need help from the community of believers around you, and that’s ok! Choose a handful of people who know you and ask them what they think you are good at.  If you’ve got your “something,” how can you use that to better love those around you? Because that’s what God wants you to do: to love and seek after Him and love others. DO less and LOVE more. And when you truly accept and understand your identity in Him, you are free to do just that!

Speaking Words of Life: Encouraging Others in Truth

The enemy is lurking all around, just waiting for the opportunity to bring you down. To whisper that you’re not good enough. To tell you that you would be a much better mom if you just… To say that you’d be much happier if your life, or maybe your husband, looked more like hers. To make you doubt God’s goodness and that He has a good plan for your life. It’s a trick as old as time, yet we fall prey to it daily, just like Eve did in the garden. Call the devil on his lies, because that’s exactly what they are, and claim the truth found in Christ.

Accepting your identity in Christ produces freedom, joy, peace, thankfulness, rest & purpose. What a great gift to share!! Think of someone in your life who could use a reminder about who God created them to be, and make a point to encourage them in some way this week. We are all in this battle together, and a simple word of truth and encouragement is enough to change a person’s life.


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To be honest, that evening was a turning point in my life. Left to my own devices, I probably wouldn't have taken the time to flesh out that topic like I had to in order to speak on it. And God met me in that process in a very deep and personal way. I was finally able to look at that long list of truths about my identity in Christ and not only really see it for the first time but choose to believe it. Really believe it, in my soul, not just say I believe it. I felt like God was able to use me to speak the truth to a whole group of women that night, and I enjoyed it! I enjoyed preparing for it and talking about all the things I'd learned from the Lord. That experience woke something up inside me that has been dormant for a long time, and I felt energized, passionate, humbled, empowered and alive. 

Allowing the truth about who God created me to be to seep into my heart and mind enabled me to start to dream big dreams. I don't know where the Lord will lead in the future, but now I know that He can use me, and He will use me, if I'm just willing to step out and say "yes." Just say yes, even if it's scary as hell and I don't know what's coming next. He's already got that part handled. He merely requires obedience. I want to encourage and inspire women to live, really live, in freedom and hope in the Lord. To know who they are in Christ and for that to propel them forward, giving them the freedom and motivation to be who Christ created them to be. To use their unique gifts and abilities to further the kingdom of God. 

What about you? I think we were all destined for greatness, and all we have to do is step out and say "yes." Greatness may not be fame, fortune, or prosperity. Greatness may not even be big things. But God is calling all of us to do something, and even the smallest thing done in His name and for His glory is GREAT. 

Let's go do some great things together.

Fake It Till You Make It, Or Not?

There are poopy diapers and banana peels in the overflowing trash that so desperately needs to be emptied. I can't fill up my glass with water in the sink because the dishes are piled so high, and the carpet is covered with a blanket of lint confetti and strewn dirty socks. The bathroom smells like pee, which seems to be characteristic of where little boys reside. All the laundry is dirty {again}, and so am I. *sigh.* Some days are just like that.

I came across this quote yesterday:

"When we operate from the central concern of being seen a certain way, we can't develop healthy relationships in the messy soil of reality--the only place they'll grow. Presenting a perfect, fake life to others generates fear in our own hearts and intimidation in everyone else's, and creates nice, fake relationships--with our friends, with our family members, even with our own children...Not only did Jesus not require perfection, those who pretended they'd attained it disgusted him. Authenticity ranks terribly high on Jesus's list of required attributes. It's not how good we are that counts, but how truthful we are about how good we're not. Only then can Jesus get busy developing us into the redeemed daughters we already are in Him." Out of the Spin Cycle, by Jen Hatmaker

When I shared it with my husband, he asked, "so what does that mean for you?" And I responded, "well, I have this picture of our garbage can filled with banana peels and diapers. I was thinking about posting that online." Who says that?? Which is exactly what he was thinking, I'm sure. It's a miracle the man puts up with me on a daily basis. :) And maybe I'm a weirdo, but I think people are desperate for that messy reality: to know that it exists outside their own home and to be able to talk freely about it with others, without fear of judgement.

So, my garbage can is full, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, as well. Today was garbage day, so the physical one got emptied and carried out to the curb. My emotional garbage can is full of fear, anger, and pride. My mental garbage can is full of lies, laziness, and idols. I need to take all that garbage out to the curb and lay it down at the foot of the cross. Reality is messy, but God doesn't want us to live in filth. He wants to redeem it and use it for good. He has plans, wonderful plans for our life, to give us a hope and a future.

Don't "fake it till you make it," as the saying goes, choosing a prison of loneliness and isolation. It's safe to assume that if there's something you're thinking, feeling, or experiencing, everyone else has, too. What step can you take towards authenticity today? Maybe it isn't sharing your garbage with the world, but you could certainly sit down with a trusted friend and speak the truth. Let someone into your life today and take out some garbage. Believe me, we all have it, and there's freedom in that.

For Mothers Who Wonder

I find myself wondering about a lot of things as a mom. For instance, many of you know that we just started our "real food" journey a few months ago. We don't, however, buy a lot of organic food even though we are eating more real foods. I buy organic fruits and vegetables where I can and we also have started buying organic chicken, but other than that we don't buy organic. I find myself wondering if my kids will be as healthy or as disease-free as kids who have always eaten organic food, especially those whose parents can afford to eat organic exclusively.

We recently looked into the option of Christian school for our children, but at the moment that does not seem like it's a reality for us. I often find myself wondering if my kids will turn out as well as kids whose parents choose/can afford to do Christian school.

At times I'm quick to anger and yell at my children. I find myself wondering if kids who live in a home with parents that don't yell would struggle with anger like my kids seem to at times.

I didn't start my children in sports or the like at age 3. I often find myself wondering if my kids will be as talented & skilled as those whose parents did.

I'm not very structured or organized as a parent. This just seems to be my personality… I find myself wondering if my children will be as disciplined in the future as kids whose parents are organized and structured and stay on top of things.

Sometimes I struggle with consistency as a parent, allowing those tiny battles here and there to be won by my children for sake of not fighting the greater war. I often wonder if this is going to come back and bite me in the teenage years, producing a very disrespectful and rebellious child.

I often wonder about these things and many more every day as mom. I was struck as I read the first chapter of Ephesians that I was essentially looking at elements like food, schedule, discipline and schooling as THE shaping forces of my children's future. As if a certain cocktail of factors, when paired together, would produce the "perfect," successful, Christ-following child. Now granted, I'm not saying that these aspects don't have an effect on a child, and they certainly help in forming and developing your child's character. We should certainly do our utmost to make the best decisions possible when it comes to our children and their future.

But all these things {and many more} come second only to Christ, as it says in Ephesians 1:11-12, "it's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone." Only Christ. Not food, not school, not schedule, not discipline, not parenting... You can do everything "right" and still end up with a child who is rebellious and wants nothing to do with God. Conversely, a child reared in an extremely dysfunctional environment can grow up to be on fire for God in a way that is unparalleled. God can use & redeem anything. The trials, the struggles, the hardships, & the failures can all be utilized by God and can just as much, if not more so, shape the person you become. Because if we were perfect parents, there would be no room or need for God.

I encourage you to give yourself a break this Mother's Day. We are all doing the best we can with what we have at the time, and God knows that. My best is different then yours is different then hers, and so on... Breathe in a long, deep sigh of relief as you realize it doesn't all depend on you or even on the choices you make for your child's life. There is something far bigger and more powerful at work in the minds and hearts of our children: it's Christ. He has a purpose and a plan for their lives, and He loves them so much more than you ever could. One of the best things you can do for your children is to be the kind of person that you want them to be. Let's shift the center of our focus to Christ and allow Him to show us who it is that He wants US to be, and by His grace and mercy our children will follow suit.

You're doing a good job, Mama. Have a blessed Mother's Day!!