April 9: The Thing about "Free" Time

April 9, 2014 Jacqui

It's nap time in the Robert's house, and all is quiet. A pile of unfolded laundry stares at me from the floor, and the dishes in the kitchen sink avert my eyes each time I go for another cup of coffee… So the question presents itself: now that I have a moment alone, some "free time," what should I do with it??

My first and overwhelming response is to plug into some mindless entertainment on Hulu, catching up on the latest episodes of this or that. I'll be the first to admit that I struggle with "unplugging," whether it be Facebook or Hulu or Instagram or Netflix {we don't have cable, but nonetheless TV is still an issue for me}. I sit down for "just a little bit" or to "take a small break" or think "I might as well watch something while I eat lunch" or "I'll just watch this one thing and then I'll…" and before I know it, the afternoon is gone. Mindless entertainment is like a drug of choice--when I'm plugged in, I don't have to think or feel or face reality. But, like a drug, it steals my time, joy, and productivity.

The thing about "free" time is that it's not really free. There's always a cost incurred with it's use, for better or worse. A lot of the time, when my afternoon free time comes around, I do squander it in front of the computer screen. Now, not all of that is bad. I managed to get my other blog up and running again with a few posts this week and I've listened to podcasts and researched, but in all honesty the rest of that time was sucked into the vortex of social media and mind-numbing television. That's time that was completely unproductive and that I'll never get back.

And there's a cost with that:

All the things I could've read and learned from a good book, I didn't.
The laundry I could've folded and put away, I didn't. Now I will have to dig through the entire pile, again, in order to find clean socks for everyone in the morning.
The dinner I could've prepped, I didn't. Now it will have to be done amidst the flurry of homework and after-school commotion and I will inevitably turn into a stress monster due to the sheer volume of attention everyone needs from me at the same. exact. time. While dinner is burning on the stove. And we will probably be late to church. Again.

So as the choice sits before me this afternoon, it comes down to two things: I can either choose myself and sit like a lump on the couch and check out for the next hour, or I can choose LOVE. Love, my friends, folds and puts away the laundry now, even if she doesn't want to, so that when the kids come home from school she's available to help with homework and get dinner ready. It will also make the morning easier tomorrow if the kids can open their dresser drawers to clean and organized clothes. Love loads and runs the dishwasher so that there are clean plates for dinner. Love tidies up the house so that when her husband comes home after being gone for an incredibly long day, on his birthday, he walks into a clean house and isn't further stressed out.

Love is an action.

Love anticipates needs, love prepares, love makes the path smooth and lowers the level of stress. Love lays down her very self--her wants, her desires, her life--for others, just like Jesus did for us.

But you also need to love yourself, so once Love has taken care of the others, she needs to take care of herself so she has more to give tomorrow! Or maybe Love needs to take care of herself now, first, so that she has something to offer. And when you do take care of yourself, choose things that give life, not detract from it.

What inspires and motivates you?

What fills your tank?

An encouraging book, a walk outside in the beauty of nature, some quiet time with the Lord, a cup of coffee with a good friend, a hobby, a good meal? Those are just a few to get you started!

Choose LOVE with me today, friends! Your families need you, and the Lord has a good work for you to do. Don't squander that precious free time! And on that note, I have a load of laundry waiting for me. ;)

We love because He first loved us.

1 John 4:19

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

Romans 8:6

April 7: We Don't Have Nice Things

April 7, 2014 Jacqui

Sooo... We got a rental car today. It's a 2013 Town & Country that's fully loaded with a black leather interior. It has amenities that I didn't even know existed. It has buttons and comparments and gadgets and whatnots. And a DVD player. And a back-up cam, which apparently is something I need. The kids think it's "Awesome!!!" They'd like to keep it. My non-logical, non-frugal, non-reality self would like to agree with them.

Oh, the leather is pristine and buttery soft. It's new and clean and there isn't a speck of dirt on the ground. There are thousands of satellite radio stations. I can plug in an iPad and a USB cable and play a DVD for the kids at the push of a button. There's a digital speedometer and the car barely bounces as I drive over potholes. And...

Then I remind my non-logical, non-frugal, non-reality self that she doesn't actually exist in the real reality, and that there are reasons we don't have nice things. Four reasons actually, which will remain unnamed but they are short and destructive, although they have good intentions most of the time. I suppose there are five reasons, I remind my other self, because my real self is actually the reason we have this rental car in the first place.

There are five reasons we don't have nice things. And if we did have this nice thing, soon it wouldn't be nice anymore for one of those reasons, and I would cry. And up until that point, I would be so paranoid about keeping the nice thing nice that my focus would be in the wrong place and I probably wouldn't be very pleasant.

So we don't have nice things. And you know what? Everyone is probably happier, more financially stable, more grateful, and less stressed as a result.

Things can't be the goal, the focus. Things are just things, but they can help you enjoy what's really important in life. They can drive you to a vacation destination, to church, and to baseball games. To the houses of family & friends, to parties, to run and laugh and play at the park. To make memories, to bless others. They simply provide transportation--all the important stuff happens before, during, & after the ride. The truth is,

your kids won't remember how you got there, but they will remember that you showed up.

April 4: Mother of the Year: Feel Better Friday Edition

April 4, 2014 Jacqui

This is the first edition of "Feel Better Friday," which is where I will publicly share some of my greatest Mother of the Year moments so you all can feel a little better about yourselves, or at the very least you can rest assured that you're not alone.

As you can see, I was quite domestic today. Cleaned the house, washed all the dishes, and vacuumed for the first time in a couple weeks. And I baked cookies. Although the floors look clean at first glance, I must confess that I'm not a mopper. Not really at all. I'm in awe of all you diligent moppers out there.

The number of times that my kitchen floor has been mopped since we moved in September = 0.

Apparently I'm a once or twice a year mopper. So for those of you that frequent my house, apply the "5 second rule" at your own risk. Lol.

So there you go! Feel better???

I was going to stop there, but something else needs to be said. I've also sat on those unvacuumed, unmopped floors and built train tracks with my kids. We spent some quality time with friends, large & small, on those floors today {after I vacuumed ;)}. I've chased a squealing, giggling baby girl around on those floors and listened to the pitter patter of her sweet, chubby bare feet. The kids were running the circle just tonight, laughing and playing and chasing each other.

What do you think they'll remember, that I never mopped the kitchen floors, or all the other stuff? This isn't about whether or not you should mop your kitchen floors, although I do think we'd all agree that they should, eventually, get mopped at some point. You're not a better mom if you mop them weekly, or if you never mop them at all.

YOU are not defined by your failures any more then you're defined by your strengths or victories. You, my friend, are valuable and important and loved and wanted just for being YOU. Feel better as you dwell on that tonight.

So what's the thing in your house that you continually don't get around to? Or are you one of those disciplined, weekly moppers that are nauseated by this confession?

March 31: Weirdos Unite

March 31, 2014 Jacqui

Back to reality after a week of spring break.... I'm soooo not a morning person. :*( But it was a beautiful day today!! I saw buds on trees--dare I say spring is here?!?!?!

The kids played outside almost all night after school, and we finally met some of the neighborhood kids {not pictured}. The first thing the little nine year old girl said to me was, "just so you know, if I start to act a little weird, it's because I am weird."

I said, "well, you won't have any problem fitting in around here."
#weareweirdtoo
#weirdisthenewnormal
#weirdosunite

I think we are going to get along splendidly. How can you not already love the kid with an opening line like that?!? #classic

P.S. Cooking and/or flipping turkey burgers is not my spiritual gift. #notevenalittlebit

March 18: If You Give a Horse a Pizza...

March 19, 2014 Jacqui

...Then he will want a beer to go with it.

My guess on Laura Numeroff's next book. Unless I write it first. Hmmm... ;)

It does look like the horses wanted some pizza for dinner. And beer. Can you blame them, though?? Seriously.

#dinnerofchampions

#andfarmanimals

#apparently

HELLO!

I'm Jacqui, the mom behind the camera. Wife of one + momma to five. Writer + speaker. Unqualified philosopher + theologian. Accidental mentor. Chaos manager. Lover of coffee + wine, perspective, and Jesus. Truth teller. Freedom fighter. Worth affirmer. Wanna-be author + world changer. Laundry piler. Emoji enthusiast. It's nice to meet you!

I hope you'll stay awhile and take a look at life through my lens, as I seek to find joy in the mess and walk with God through the beauty of everyday life.

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That last-week-of-school hustle is reeeeaaal. 😩👊🏻😴

Oh haaay, summer, haaay!! ✨😎 It’s almost 90 degrees with a breeze here in CLE, & we’re not minding one little bit. We just got back from a Target run, as one does on a Saturday. 🎯 I swept yesterday’s chalk dust and all the helicopters off the porch (as far as propagating strategies go, this is a very good one. Those suckers are EVERYWHERE!), and now I’m watching my little corner of the world go by from my second-hand rocking chair on the porch, iced coffee in hand. And it’s so, so good to be right here. In this moment, in this place: the wind tugging at my hair, the kids arguing about something in the backyard, the wind chimes next door, the dogs sunning themselves at my feet. These are the days. This is the abundant life. And I wouldn’t trade it for the whole wide world. My corner is enough.

I used to think the old woman who lived in a shoe was nuts. I mean, why in the world would you choose live in a shoe? With all those kids?? 😱 And withholding the bread? Straight up neglect. Some versions say she kissed them fondly, but we all know that mean broad spanked the daylights out of them before sending them straight to bed. Then I became a parent. Life has a way of waking you up to realities that are literally impossible to understand until you’re completely immersed in the incessant demands of a sacrificial season, or in some cases, a sacrificial existence. And you can fathom now how life can wear a person down to a shell of who they were, how one unfortunate circumstance can tragically alter a trajectory. And you finally realize that no one chooses to live in a shoe. A shoe is where you live when you have no choices, when you’re out of options, when it’s either a shoe or the streets. She had so many children she didn’t know what to do—so many mouths to feed every day. If broth and bread is all she could afford, there might not have been enough to go around. She didn’t ration out of neglect but rather out of necessity. And she whipped them all soundly before she put them to bed because she didn’t have anything left. Because she’s an overwhelmed, exhausted single mom without a shred of a support system. She never gets a break. Carrying the weight of their survival solely on her weary shoulders, she beats them now so the police won’t later. She whoops them because she cares, and that’s the only way she ever learned how to show it. . ...and what you can see now is, she loves them.

Anyone else feel the pull to show up here every so often to say, “Hey! I’m still busy doing things! My life is still interesting! And it matters! And here’s why…” When I feel compelled or obligated to do something, for whatever reason, one of the best things I can do for myself, at least for a little while, is….don’t. Don’t log on. Don’t post for the heck of posting. Don’t force something that doesn’t want to come. And I let the silence begin to speak for itself. God speaks in a whisper, you know, but how often are we quiet enough to hear it? And how exactly did we arrive at the place where our worth was determined by the number of hearts tapped out on 2x2 squares? It sounds quite ridiculous when it’s all spelled out like that, doesn’t it?

This is how we showed up at church tonight—legit looking like maybe we just crawled out of a garbage dump. Or at least a construction zone. 🚧 It’s actually worse than it looks and literally the best I’ve got this week. Bless it. Also, the nursery worker made them wash hands before snack, so we’re good. What matters is that we showed up. On time, in fact, which is no small miracle in and of itself. . ✨All that is required of us is that we arrive as our truest selves. And today? We’re filthy. So, here’s a gentle reminder to you, fellow traveler: come dirty, come late, come ill-prepared or even irate. Come with a smile on your face, or come because you need some grace. Come stressed, come sweaty, come imperfect, even petty. Just come, in spite of your mess, and trust that God will take care of the rest. He always does. See for yourself. ➡️

These jokers are my favorite. 💖 #happymothersday

‘Tis the season. 💜🌸 The only problem is choosing just one! 🤩 So I didn’t. 😬 Did you know that lilacs only bloom for 1-2 weeks a year? Kinda makes you wonder about humanity’s over-emphasis on “blooming”—always producing, striving, hustling, creating output. Even if we’re blooming where we’re planted, as the saying goes, it’s brief. Stunning, yes. Breathtaking, yes. Colorful, vibrant, full of life, yes please. But also short-lived. Temporary. Fleeting. Seasons are not only temporary but necessary. Don’t focus so much on the fruit that you miss the seasons of watching and waiting, of hunkering down when the landscape is barren and learning to weather the storms. These create the fertile soil in which flowers grow. 💜

*new headshot* 😬

Today is Good Friday, and it arrived exactly how I always picture it—the sky weeping, the earth soaked with tears. This is the inevitable darkness that must come before the morning, the necessary death which precedes resurrection. This heartbreaking pattern of life is something my human heart always struggles to embrace as “the way.” Surely, there has to be another (less painful) avenue toward truth and life? . Selfishly, I want what we all think we want at the end of the day: a life of comfort and ease. We quickly realize, however, that comfort is fleeting and ease is overrated. With each excruciating step up the hill of Calvary, Jesus reminds us again: every good and perfect gift arrives on the other side of death. It is finished, forever and ever. Amen.

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. —Rumi

HELLO!

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