Dear Christian: Be an Example Worth Following!



Ruby, my soon-to-be six year old, wants to be "a momma" when she grows up. Or a teacher. I tell her that she can be both. When she's older, she says, she'll get to take care of the babies all day and "milk them" {aka nurse them}, "just like mom." She talks about it with a sense of pride & hopeful expectation. I've never once had a conversation with her about how to be a mom, or what a stay-at-home mom does all day--she knows because she's been watching me. My husband says it's a testimony to me and the kind of mom I am, that she wants to be like me when she grows up. I say it's all God, because He knows how many times I mess up each day and still by some miracle she wants to be like me. It's a sweet thought, though.

Just like Ruby watches me and forms an opinion about motherhood and all that it entails, so do we form opinions about many important roles in life. We all set an example for someone. People, especially children, are always watching and learning. How to be a mom or dad, how to be an employee, an artist, a teacher, a businessman, a day laborer, a grandparent, a manager, a friend....a Christian. 


If someone were to watch your example today on how to be a Christian, would they want to be like you?


Would they even know by your example that you were a Christian? 


I heard an alarming statistic recently which stated that within three years of becoming a Christian, most people will no longer have any non-Christian friends. I can look back on my own life to times when that was true. And for me, it wasn't even that I didn't have any non-Christian friends. I just chose to let those friendships fall by the wayside. I didn't call, I didn't seek them out, and soon I stopped spending time with them altogether. They were sinful, after all, and my new found holiness self-righteousness just couldn't handle being in close proximity with that anymore. It was uncomfortable. After all, they might swear. Or smoke. Or offend my delicate Christian sensibilities. Or tell me that they're gay, and what in the world would I do with that?? So I chose to walk away.

I was happy to go on missions trips or walk down the streets in the city and tell people about Jesus and the difference He made in my life, but none of those relationships were lasting, nor did they require any risk or vulnerability beyond my testimony and a track. Here's the information, I hope it changes your life like it did mine {as you can see from my WWJD bracelet}, now have a nice day! 

I was happy to hang out at church with my Christian posse. It's safe to be around people who look like you, talk like you, and think like you. It's comfortable. We Christians like comfortable--most of us, at least. We go to our church services on Sunday and bible studies on Wednesday. Like infants, we are happy to allow others to spoon-feed us the Bible. We fill up and fill up and get fat on the Word of God. We listen to sermons, we read books, and we listen to podcasts while our bible sits idly by, collecting dust on the nightstand. 

We drive past the man in tattered clothing, standing on the side of the road with a small, cardboard sign in the rain. We give money to the mission in the city but have never once set foot on those city streets, in their shelters, or in their soup kitchens. We send a shoebox with toys overseas at Christmas so we can feel charitable while the children next door don't have money to buy food for dinner, let alone Christmas presents. We get on Facebook and make sure that the world knows that we eat at Chick-Fil-A, are boycotting World Vision, and are appalled at the heresy in the movie Noah. We could create a #ChristiansofFacebook hashtag, and seriously folks, many of the posts tagged would be downright embarrassing. Like mud, we sling around careless words in the name of truth, and we forget that there are real people with real feelings on the other side of the computer screen.

But here's the thing. Letting the world know what Christians "hate" or "what we stand for" isn't going to make them love Jesus. Quite the opposite, actually. You can't debate someone into loving Jesus. You can't bully them, shame them, chastise them, rebuke them, picket them, or criticize them into giving their heart to The Lord. And yet, this is how many of us operate. Or worse, we ignore them completely.

I think there's a degree of memory loss that occurs in some people after becoming a Christian. We somehow forget that we used to be one of them. There was an entire portion of our life that we did not believe in nor follow The Lord, and it's only by the grace of God and the conviction of the Spirit that our eyes were opened and we accepted Him as our Savior. We somehow start to believe that we are better then non-Christians, that we are somehow responsible for this miraculous change in our lives. 

Or maybe it's not that, maybe we're just afraid. Because, let's face it, real relationships with real people are scary. People have thoughts and opinions of their own, and they might be different then ours. They might be downright opposite or hostile to ours. Real relationships require risk and vulnerability, which open the door to conflict, pain, and just plain messiness. And how do we apply this Jesus of ours to that? How can Jesus help your next door neighbor who's addicted to painkillers? What about your friend who just lost her husband and is now going to lose her home? How about your family member who is sick or dying of cancer? What about the single mom on welfare? The army veterans? The homeless?


Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. β€œIf you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you foreverβ€” the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. (John 14:12-17 NIV)


I want you to go stand in front of a mirror, and take a good long look at that face staring back at you. Now look down at your hands, and then your feet. The Holy Spirit, by very definition, is unable to be seen. But you, YOU, my Christian friend, are not invisible. YOU can be the hands and feet of Christ. Jesus with skin on. And the world will know that by the way you LOVE, by the example you set.


If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NIV)


Friends, if you do not LOVE, all the world hears is a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal--nothing worth paying any attention to. Just meaningless, annoying noise. What the world needs is a little less Christianity and a little more Jesus. A little less judgement and finger-pointing and a little more unconditional love. Jesus was a "friend of sinners." He ate with them, talked with them, walked with them, and healed them. He met them in their brokenness, in their mess, and he offered them hope. A new life. Do you think they would've spent time with him--the tax collectors, prostitutes and criminals--if they didn't see something different in Him? Something alluring? Something that they didn't have, but wanted? 

He wasn't like the self-righteous Pharisees, judging and condemning and quoting and getting offended. He was totally other. New. He loved with actions, and so can you. You can get out of your Christian bubble, if you are in fact living in one, and get to know the real people around you. Real people who most likely don't look like you, talk like you, or think like you. They're on your street, at the store, in your schools, and on your kids baseball team. 


My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, (James 1:19 NIV)


Learn their names. Invite them over for a cookout. Welcome them into your Home. Bring them a meal when they are sick. Rake the leaves in their yard in the fall. Shovel their driveway in the winter. Offer to watch their kids or carpool to school, for free. Develop a relationship with them. Listen, without an agenda, to their hopes, dreams, fears, beliefs and concerns. Earn the right to have an opinion before you give one. Be less concerned about the world knowing what you believe or stand for and more concerned about setting an example for the real people in your everyday life. An example that is totally other and new. One that begs the question, why are you so different? An example that makes them want what you have, too. 

And you know what? You don't have to SAY anything. When you truly love others, as Christ did, your example speaks for itself. People will know that you're different, and eventually they will want to know why. Then be ready to give a reason for the hope you have, for the joy in your heart.

But you cannot impart what you do not possess, so are you joyful, Christian? Are you hopeful? Are you FREE? If Christians really believed God is who He says He is and lived accordingly, the world would never be the same.

Dear Christian, if you're truly an example of Jesus, a conduit of his unconditional, unfailing love to a broken world, your home should be a better place because you're there. Your workplace should be a better place because you're there. The restaurant where you sit, the coffee house you frequent, your hair salon, your PTA Board, and your business meeting should be a better place because you're there. Your neighborhood, your community, and your tangible world should be a better place because you, Jesus with skin on, are there.



Are they? 



How do you change the world in the name of Jesus? One person, one soul, at a time. And now is a great time to start. Be an example worth following & lead on.





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April 9: The Thing about "Free" Time



It's nap time in the Robert's house, and all is quiet. A pile of unfolded laundry stares at me from the floor, and the dishes in the kitchen sink avert my eyes each time I go for another cup of coffee… So the question presents itself: now that I have a moment alone, some "free time," what should I do with it??

My first and overwhelming response is to plug into some mindless entertainment on Hulu, catching up on the latest episodes of this or that. I'll be the first to admit that I struggle with "unplugging," whether it be Facebook or Hulu or Instagram or Netflix {we don't have cable, but nonetheless TV is still an issue for me}. I sit down for "just a little bit" or to "take a small break" or think "I might as well watch something while I eat lunch" or "I'll just watch this one thing and then I'll…" and before I know it, the afternoon is gone. Mindless entertainment is like a drug of choice--when I'm plugged in, I don't have to think or feel or face reality. But, like a drug, it steals my time, joy, and productivity.

The thing about "free" time is that it's not really free. There's always a cost incurred with it's use, for better or worse. A lot of the time, when my afternoon free time comes around, I do squander it in front of the computer screen. Now, not all of that is bad. I managed to get my other blog up and running again with a few posts this week and I've listened to podcasts and researched, but in all honesty the rest of that time was sucked into the vortex of social media and mind-numbing television. That's time that was completely unproductive and that I'll never get back.

And there's a cost with that:

  • All the things I could've read and learned from a good book, I didn't. 
  • The laundry I could've folded and put away, I didn't. Now I will have to dig through the entire pile, again, in order to find clean socks for everyone in the morning. 
  • The dinner I could've prepped, I didn't. Now it will have to be done amidst the flurry of homework and after-school commotion and I will inevitably turn into a stress monster due to the sheer volume of attention everyone needs from me at the same. exact. time. While dinner is burning on the stove. And we will probably be late to church. Again.


So as the choice sits before me this afternoon, it comes down to two things: I can either choose myself and sit like a lump on the couch and check out for the next hour, or I can choose LOVE. Love, my friends, folds and puts away the laundry now, even if she doesn't want to, so that when the kids come home from school she's available to help with homework and get dinner ready. It will also make the morning easier tomorrow if the kids can open their dresser drawers to clean and organized clothes. Love loads and runs the dishwasher so that there are clean plates for dinner. Love tidies up the house so that when her husband comes home after being gone for an incredibly long day, on his birthday, he walks into a clean house and isn't further stressed out.


Love is an action. 


Love anticipates needs, love prepares, love makes the path smooth and lowers the level of stress. Love lays down her very self--her wants, her desires, her life--for others, just like Jesus did for us.

But you also need to love yourself, so once Love has taken care of the others, she needs to take care of herself so she has more to give tomorrow! Or maybe Love needs to take care of herself now, first, so that she has something to offer. And when you do take care of yourself, choose things that give life, not detract from it.


What inspires and motivates you? 



What fills your tank?


An encouraging book, a walk outside in the beauty of nature, some quiet time with the Lord, a cup of coffee with a good friend, a hobby, a good meal? Those are just a few to get you started!


Choose LOVE with me today, friends! Your families need you, and the Lord has a good work for you to do. Don't squander that precious free time! And on that note, I have a load of laundry waiting for me. ;)




We love because He first loved us.
1 John 4:19



The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
Romans 8:6




April 7: We Don't Have Nice Things

Sooo... We got a rental car today. It's a 2013 Town & Country that's fully loaded with a black leather interior. It has amenities that I didn't even know existed. It has buttons and comparments and gadgets and whatnots. And a DVD player. And a back-up cam, which apparently is something I need. The kids think it's "Awesome!!!" They'd like to keep it. My non-logical, non-frugal, non-reality self would like to agree with them. 

Oh, the leather is pristine and buttery soft. It's new and clean and there isn't a speck of dirt on the ground. There are thousands of satellite radio stations. I can plug in an iPad and a USB cable and play a DVD for the kids at the push of a button. There's a digital speedometer and the car barely bounces as I drive over potholes. And...

Then I remind my non-logical, non-frugal, non-reality self that she doesn't actually exist in the real reality, and that there are reasons we don't have nice things. Four reasons actually, which will remain unnamed but they are short and destructive, although they have good intentions most of the time. I suppose there are five reasons, I remind my other self, because my real self is actually the reason we have this rental car in the first place. 

There are five reasons we don't have nice things. And if we did have this nice thing, soon it wouldn't be nice anymore for one of those reasons, and I would cry. And up until that point, I would be so paranoid about keeping the nice thing nice that my focus would be in the wrong place and I probably wouldn't be very pleasant. 

So we don't have nice things. And you know what? Everyone is probably happier, more financially stable, more grateful, and less stressed as a result. 

Things can't be the goal, the focus. Things are just things, but they can help you enjoy what's really important in life. They can drive you to a vacation destination, to church, and to baseball games. To the houses of family & friends, to parties, to run and laugh and play at the park. To make memories, to bless others. They simply provide transportation--all the important stuff happens before, during, & after the ride. The truth is,

your kids won't remember how you got there, but they will remember that you showed up.

April 4: Mother of the Year: Feel Better Friday Edition


This is the first edition of "Feel Better Friday," which is where I will publicly share some of my greatest Mother of the Year moments so you all can feel a little better about yourselves, or at the very least you can rest assured that you're not alone. 

As you can see, I was quite domestic today. Cleaned the house, washed all the dishes, and vacuumed for the first time in a couple weeks. And I baked cookies. Although the floors look clean at first glance, I must confess that I'm not a mopper. Not really at all. I'm in awe of all you diligent moppers out there.


The number of times that my kitchen floor has been mopped since we moved in September = 0.


Apparently I'm a once or twice a year mopper. So for those of you that frequent my house, apply the "5 second rule" at your own risk. Lol. 


So there you go! Feel better??? 


I was going to stop there, but something else needs to be said. I've also sat on those unvacuumed, unmopped floors and built train tracks with my kids. We spent some quality time with friends, large & small, on those floors today {after I vacuumed ;)}. I've chased a squealing, giggling baby girl around on those floors and listened to the pitter patter of her sweet, chubby bare feet. The kids were running the circle just tonight, laughing and playing and chasing each other.

What do you think they'll remember, that I never mopped the kitchen floors, or all the other stuff? This isn't about whether or not you should mop your kitchen floors, although I do think we'd all agree that they should, eventually, get mopped at some point. You're not a better mom if you mop them weekly, or if you never mop them at all.

YOU are not defined by your failures any more then you're defined by your strengths or victories. You, my friend, are valuable and important and loved and wanted just for being YOU. Feel better as you dwell on that tonight.



So what's the thing in your house that you continually don't get around to? Or are you one of those disciplined, weekly moppers that are nauseated by this confession?



March 31: Weirdos Unite


Back to reality after a week of spring break.... I'm soooo not a morning person. :*( But it was a beautiful day today!! I saw buds on trees--dare I say spring is here?!?!?! 

The kids played outside almost all night after school, and we finally met some of the neighborhood kids {not pictured}. The first thing the little nine year old girl said to me was, "just so you know, if I start to act a little weird, it's because I am weird."

I said, "well, you won't have any problem fitting in around here."
#weareweirdtoo
#weirdisthenewnormal
#weirdosunite

I think we are going to get along splendidly. How can you not already love the kid with an opening line like that?!? #classic



P.S. Cooking and/or flipping turkey burgers is not my spiritual gift. #notevenalittlebit