June 6: The City Never Sleeps. Sometimes I Don't Either.

It's summer in the city. You can tell not only by the concrete that singes the delicate skin on the bottoms of your bare feet, freshly emerged from their cocoon of warm fuzzy socks and winter boots and yet to be roughened by the scrapes and stubbs of the season, but by the dramatic increase in the ambient outdoor noise. Sirens wailing down the street, music blaring out car windows, people hollering and banging, coming and going. Campfires crackling, children laughing, dogs barking. The city never sleeps, especially during the summer months.

As I was thinking about getting dinner ready tonight, incredibly later then I should've been pondering such things, I found myself wanting a fourth cup of coffee. It smelled so good sitting there on the counter, freshly brewed with a dash of cinnamon, and I have been in a fog most of the day today that I just can't seem to shake, no matter how hard I try. I woke up late this morning and have been behind ever since.

I decide on breakfast potatoes and quiche for dinner tonight, only to find that we had three remaining potatoes and less then a dozen eggs. In my foggy and procrastinating state, with no plan B and even less time, I went ahead with the menu anyways. I scramble for things to fatten up the quiche and try to stir the meager helping of potatoes around in the pan with no luck, as they stick to the pan more and more with each scrape of the spatula, forming a crusty, burnt layer of starch on the bottom. And I forgot to grease the bottom of the quiche pan, so that will turn out about the same…

What is wrong with me? I think. I struggle to find some poignant thought to explain my state, some eloquent way of describing it in order to find inspiration and encouragement in the most mundane experiences of this day, like cooking dinner in a fog. Why can't I think straight? Why is inspiration evading me today? Why don't I have any thoughts?? I need some thoughts to go with my collage!! Any thoughts. Please.


And then it finally breaks through the fog. I. AM. TIRED.


T-I-R-E-D.


Oh.


That explains a lot. I reflect on my week to realize that we have been up with the dog, who has had a pooping issue, several times a night for the past couple nights. And then you add in the night I drank coffee too late, the night that I was stewing on issues instead of giving them to the Lord, the night with a restless spouse, and then last night when the baby woke up at 4:30am, after I'd only finally fallen asleep a few hours before. I'm tired. And in a tired, non-inspired, thoughtless fog.

And you're just a different person when you're tired, you know? This tired person version of me is not my favorite form that I come in, so on that note, and despite the fact that I did in fact have that fourth cup of coffee {I may have just fallen over flat on my face if I didn't, though, so it was really a matter of survival, a basic life or death issue}, I'm going to get some sleep.

And hopefully I'll make more sense tomorrow.


Night!

June 4: My Aching Mother Heart

The kids are running around outside in the rain, stomping in puddles, spiking up wet locks, shrieking with laughter, and trying to tag each other amidst the pitter patter. These are the things that childhoods are made of. Things that they should be made of, rather. Today I find myself desperately holding onto and relishing moments like this, treasuring the innocence, knowing that it's rare and fleeting in today's culture.

I want to sit on the porch with my cup of coffee and watch them run and play and splash for years and years. I don't want them to grow up. To meet the evil in the world face to face, to experience pain, loss, betrayal. I know that one day it will come, though. And I also know that when it does, that God is and will continue to be good.

We shared the park down the road today with a group of girls, not more then a few years older then Clayton. I'm guessing in their tweens. They were laughing and joking with each other by us on the swings, and when the cussing started, I politely asked them to tone it down for the little ears who have a tendency to repeat everything. They complied for a while, until their friends showed up. We decided to walk back home when they started singing a song to the tune of "I like having sex, I like getting high…"

Oh, how my aching mother heart wanted to run over there and shake them back into reality. I wanted to sit down with them and tell them that they are worth more then that, that they can be more then that. No doubt some of them were singing from experience, or at the very least out of a desire to be cool and accepted. To be wanted and loved.

And then I realized that shaking them back into reality wouldn't help, because this IS their reality. Especially in the city, these poor little girls live in a sex and drug saturated culture. One that tells them that they, even in their pre-pubescent bodies, need to be "hot" and sexy to warrant a man's attention. And the end result of attracting a man with your sexuality is, well, sex. And the world tells you that you will finally be loved by taking this route. But when this strategy fails miserably, there's drugs to dull the pain. And repeat.

So I'm having one of those how-do-I-protect-my-kids-from-the-world-without-burying-them-under-a-rock-until-they're-thirty kind of days. And really, I don't know. And that's frightening. But I know their precious little lives are in God's hands, and there's no better place for them to be. I also know that as parents, we are important. What you say to your kids is important. What you do, how you live, is even more important.

Be the kind of man or woman that you want them to be, starting today. And you know what, talk to them about sex, even if it's awkward. Because you better believe that the world's messages about it are coming through loud and clear.

Be louder. We owe it to them.



#I'msonotreadyforallthis
#staylittleforever

#prettyplease

June 1: Anniversary Weekend, Take 3

My sweet husband brought me coffee in bed! :)

So long, trendy hotel. We are on to greener pastures {i.e., unmade beds, laundry that needs folded, white walls covered in fingerprints... Otherwise known as home.}.

I saw a turquoise wall. I couldn't help myself. It's like an involuntary reflex.

Pet art. It's in a category of its own.

There were many dogs out and about on this beautiful day! This little Boston works here.

LOVE this apartment building.

We found an Oil & Vinegar store! Finally a place where I could knock back straight up vinegar and it was completely socially appropriate. #bringonthefreesamples

You guys. If you are ever in Columbus, you MUST eat here!!

Not only did they plate it all cute, but it was the BEST gyro I have ever had. And that garlic sauce, to die for!

With those prices, they'd better apologize...

Target shopping.

Poor little Eva was pretty tired after her fun weekend! Lol. It was so good to see these crazy kids! :)

May 31: Anniversary Weekend, Take 2

Found a great local diner for breakfast! 

A necessity.

Sweet little succulents, where have you been all my life??

New project upon returning home: build a terrarium. Or many terrariums.

Sunny selfie. :)

Ohmygoodness, I haven't eaten here in forever, and it was awesome.

#lookup

Perfect weather All. Day. Long.

May 30: Cheers to 10 Years!!

We packed our bags, dropped the kiddos off with the grandparents, and headed out of town for the weekend to celebrate our 10th Anniversary! Ten years... How the heck did that happen?? Seems like it hasn't been that long in some ways, and then I look at our seven year old and realize that time has just flown by. 

Today is a gorgeous day in Ohio with the perfect sunshine to breeze ratio. It's a good day for driving and shopping, which is what we've done so far. The manager at Olive Garden bought our appetizer for us in honor of our anniversary, which was so nice and unexpected! And on the way into Micheal's {yep, I hit the jackpot--a husband who will enter a craft store!}, Ben asked me if I dropped my weave. I seriously died laughing {insert the "laughing until you cry" emoji here} and had to go back through the traffic to get a picture. Ten years later and he still cracks me up. :) I should've been quicker on the draw though, because clearly I am not the one who needs a weave... Lol.

The hotel, although just a Marriott, is pretty swanky on the inside. I wasn't sure about the blue and orange carpet when we first walked in, but some excellent interior decorating goes a long way! 

And the token gift I bought was a bride/groom S'more ornament. Since we got married, it's been our tradition to buy a new S'more ornament every year. Each one symbolizes a significant moment throughout the year, like a highlight of sorts. Pregnancies, new babies, and now a 10th Anniversary S'more. I had to do a little washi tape magic to cover up the original, irrelevant message, and when I got ahold of a small sharpie, I'm going to fill in the banner with "Cheers to 10 years!" A more organized, efficient person would've had this all done ahead of time, but you know me... Some things don't change, even after ten years. ;)