June 25: To Be Really Good at Something


I spent a large portion of my life up to this point trying to figure out what I was really good at, finding somewhere to stake my proverbial flag, claim as my own, and do that one thing to the degree of expertise. Was it Social Work? Card-making? Couponing? Writing? Or any number of things in-between? As much as I enjoy all of those things, I never really felt like they were "the one" as far as a life calling.

And how do you decide on that one thing to pour your life into? That's a huge decision. What if you decide on the wrong thing? What if you decide on the right thing, but you don't feel like doing it anymore after about ten years? What if the real life version of it is not at all how you pictured it would be? What if you put your stake down, and after looking back at your entire life's work, you realize you've merely been chasing the wind??

As for me, I not only have a problem with following through and finishing, but I tend to get bored with things after a while and want to move onto something else. Then I realized this. I don't want to be better at anything else in this world then following Christ. THAT is my life's calling. THAT is my goal. THAT is a vocation completely worth driving your stake deep into with abandon, because the God of the universe didn't hesitate to do any less for you when He sent His own Son to earth to be nailed to a cross. For you. And for me. He died so that we may live abundantly.

Anything and everything else is second only to that. And when that most important piece is in it's rightful place, God will indeed use whatever He calls me to do in a most powerful way.

I don't have to figure it out. I don't have to see the final picture. I just have to say yes today.



June 16: Splash Pad and Mom Fail...


Although this photo looks cute and bright and happy, today was totally a big, huge Mom Fail kinda day... I reacted in anger more times then I can count, and I apologized even more then that. My encouragements didn't outweigh my criticisms, I'm sure. 

I think I go through this every summer--I seem to forget how to be with my children all the live long day without wanting to kill them. Or lose my mind. Maybe I should've been born a hamster and then I could just eat them all and call it a day. 

Seriously though, they should prescribe a mild sedative for mothers so that we can survive the long summer months with some sense of peace and sanity remaining come August. Anyone know a guy??

#I'mtotallykidding
#mostlykidding
#65.5%kidding...



June 15: Happy Father's Day!!


Daddy took us to get coffee & to the park tonight, on his special day. Toby pulled on Ben's shirt, wanting him to come play on the jungle gym, and said, "come on, pal!!" And Ben did go run and play and even slid down the slide. He is our pal. He is a great husband & father.

Happy Father's Day to a daddy who is wonderful in every way. We love you much!!! 





Father's Day 2013. Back in the day when, you know, he had hair. ;)





June 6: The City Never Sleeps. Sometimes I Don't Either.



It's summer in the city. You can tell not only by the concrete that singes the delicate skin on the bottoms of your bare feet, freshly emerged from their cocoon of warm fuzzy socks and winter boots and yet to be roughened by the scrapes and stubbs of the season, but by the dramatic increase in the ambient outdoor noise. Sirens wailing down the street, music blaring out car windows, people hollering and banging, coming and going. Campfires crackling, children laughing, dogs barking. The city never sleeps, especially during the summer months.

As I was thinking about getting dinner ready tonight, incredibly later then I should've been pondering such things, I found myself wanting a fourth cup of coffee. It smelled so good sitting there on the counter, freshly brewed with a dash of cinnamon, and I have been in a fog most of the day today that I just can't seem to shake, no matter how hard I try. I woke up late this morning and have been behind ever since.

I decide on breakfast potatoes and quiche for dinner tonight, only to find that we had three remaining potatoes and less then a dozen eggs. In my foggy and procrastinating state, with no plan B and even less time, I went ahead with the menu anyways. I scramble for things to fatten up the quiche and try to stir the meager helping of potatoes around in the pan with no luck, as they stick to the pan more and more with each scrape of the spatula, forming a crusty, burnt layer of starch on the bottom. And I forgot to grease the bottom of the quiche pan, so that will turn out about the same…

What is wrong with me? I think. I struggle to find some poignant thought to explain my state, some eloquent way of describing it in order to find inspiration and encouragement in the most mundane experiences of this day, like cooking dinner in a fog. Why can't I think straight? Why is inspiration evading me today? Why don't I have any thoughts?? I need some thoughts to go with my collage!! Any thoughts. Please.
And then it finally breaks through the fog. I. AM. TIRED.


T-I-R-E-D.


Oh.


That explains a lot. I reflect on my week to realize that we have been up with the dog, who has had a pooping issue, several times a night for the past couple nights. And then you add in the night I drank coffee too late, the night that I was stewing on issues instead of giving them to the Lord, the night with a restless spouse, and then last night when the baby woke up at 4:30am, after I'd only finally fallen asleep a few hours before. I'm tired. And in a tired, non-inspired, thoughtless fog.

And you're just a different person when you're tired, you know? This tired person version of me is not my favorite form that I come in, so on that note, and despite the fact that I did in fact have that fourth cup of coffee {I may have just fallen over flat on my face if I didn't, though, so it was really a matter of survival, a basic life or death issue}, I'm going to get some sleep.

And hopefully I'll make more sense tomorrow.


Night!