I'm restless and I can't sleep. My thoughts keep swirling from one wave of emotion to the next without so much as a pause. My heart is heavy. It's something that's been on my mind this past week but even more so tonight, as I've heard a few stories of families who have tragically lost a young child.
That loss is something that I can't comprehend, and if I'm really honest with myself, I don't even want to try. It's awful. It's devestating. It's heartbreaking. And although I feel bad saying it out loud, I'm so glad it wasn't my child. How does one live, how can one even go on, when all you have left are photos and empty space?
Tiny shoes in a pile by the front door, but no longer any feet to fill them.
An empty chair at the dinner table, still sticky with smeared syrup from breakfast just this morning, but no longer anyone to sit there.
A ball now lying still in the grass because there's no longer anyone to kick it.
An unmade bed, rumpled covers and a favorite blanket, but no child to snuggle under them.
Toys on the floor, a toothbrush in the sink, dirty clothes in the hamper, a family photo on the wall...
Moments frozen in time, memories of what was, painful reminders of what will no longer be.
Life can change at the flip of a switch, with a ring of the phone, with a knock at the door, in an instant.
That pain is so real, so raw. In my heart of hearts I know that there is no depth of pain that The Lord is not deeper still. I know that He is close to the broken hearted {Ps. 34:18}, that He collects all our tears {Ps. 56:8}. I know that God has a plan for our lives {Jer. 29:11} and that each of our days are numbered before one of them comes to be {Ps. 139:16}. I know that in His mighty hand He holds the power if life and death {1 Sam. 2:6}. I know that He is good. The Lord gives and The Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of The Lord {Job 1:21}.
They say that life is fragile and delicate. Is it really, though, if we rest securely in His arms? I can't think of a safer place to be. The Lord gives both death and life, and all of our days are numbered in His book. Life is not fragile, though it seems so to us, as we know not when the jar of clay that is our life will tip over and shatter. The fact is, that jar won't tip over a single second before its time. Life is a miracle.
From the time that our small body was perfectly formed in our mother's womb to the moment that you are sitting there alive and breathing this very day is a miracle, my friends. Life is a miracle. Do not take it for granted! I challenge you to BE ALL THERE today, wherever you are. Be present in the moment and soak it all in. The emotions, the textures, the sounds and smells. Presence won't dull the profound ache of pain or bring back the time stolen by death, but it is an antidote to regret. Presence, forgiveness, and love. Love the people in your life with everything you have, because you just never know.
Be all there--that's the only way to really live. Witness the miracles around you every day. Pay attention. If you're not, you might miss it. There's nothing worse then regret when all you have left is empty space.
If you haven't seen it already, this video is another thing that hit home for me this week. Look up!!