How the Heck Did I Get Here? The Unlikely Road to Urban Missions

Hello fellow 31 Day-ers and anyone else observing this crazy ride!

Like many of you, I've gone back and forth about my topic for the month. The possibilities are endless! Meeting God in the Mundane is my tagline, and my writing tends to focus around that theme. I'm ever intrigued by the fact that Jesus persistently longs to be involved in our mundane, ordinary, walking around life (Romans 12:1-2) and what it really looks like to follow Him in the practical everyday. 

My family and I recently took a step in faith to pursue full-time missionary status and are in the process of raising funds. It's become increasingly clear, as we reflect on the past, that the Lord has been preparing us for this, but even still, there are often days where we wonder, how the heck did we get here?? I mean, really...

How does an upper middle class country girl who never really wanted kids wind up twenty years later in the inner city as a missionary and mother of five? If you find yourself intrigued, you'll want to stick around and watch the story unfold. 

Because the short of it is, God has drastically changed my heart through this imperfect city and its people. The longer I've lived here, the less I know for sure. Black and white issues like poverty, addiction, homelessness, prostitution, and teen pregnancy fade to grey when you're no longer merely staring at a label but an actual human face with real emotions, pain, potential, and value.

This month I'll explore some of the key moments God opened my eyes and heart toward missions, interactions with people that shattered what I thought I knew about myself and others, and snippets of the upside-down truth I've learned along the way.

And my hope is that as you journey along with me, God will open your eyes, widen your arms, and expand your infinite potential to love your neighbor. Even more, that He would instill in you a fire and conviction to act on your heart change. Because our world would be a better place if more of us had hearts like Gods.

To read the rest of the posts this month, subscribe HERE! You can find the series in the Write 31 Days tab in the Menu or HERE.

Enjoy!

xo

Jacqui

P.S. If you have friends who might like the topic, invite them to join us! To receive these posts directly in your inbox every week, subscribe below!

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

Email Address *

Be Brave Enough To Ask For What You Need. Here's Why.

I awoke to the scraping and scratching of a garbage can against cement. Peering through the blinds to confirm what I embarrassingly feared to be true, I saw our elderly neighbor slowly dragging our recycle can out to the curb. She walked gingerly, lugging the large blue bin behind her with each step.

Ugh… I forgot to remind the boys to do that yesterday… I thought, dismayed she took it upon herself to do it for us when we're plenty capable. Let’s just file that under “reasons I wake up feeling like a failure” and call it a day.

I groggily lumbered downstairs and asked the boys to please take out the other bins so she didn’t feel the need to do that, too, and make sure to thank her. They trudged outside while I started making bagels for breakfast and put on a fresh pot of coffee. It was a lazy morning, and, not expecting anyone, I was happy to lounge around in my pajamas.

But I had barely gotten the kids settled into their seats at the table when we heard a soft knock on the front door. My son opened it to find our neighbor.

She handed him a coupon for one of the local pizza places. She said she wasn’t going to use it but thought we might. “Aw, thank you!” I said, joining them. “And thank you for taking out our garbage this morning! That was really sweet of you.”

It wasn’t a big deal, she assured me as we chatted. I thought about inviting her in, but standing there partially obscured by the door in pajamas, I let self-consciousness get the better of me and said nothing.

“Is that coffee I smell?” she interjected.

“It is!” And before I could even squeak out a polite, “would you like some?” she asked, “would you mind if I borrowed a cup so I don’t have to make one cup for myself at home?”

“Absolutely.” I replied. “Come on in! Why don’t you sit with us at the table--we’re just eating breakfast.” I walked with her over to the table, wiped a good handful of crumbs off the end spot, and pulled out a chair. “Can I get you a bagel, too?” 

“Well, I certainly won’t turn it down!”

She’s missing some teeth but has enough to gladly accept a soft breakfast, which I came to understand may be the only meal she’d eat today because she’s not working this week and money is tight. Time off work is only a “vacation” for the middle-class. At seventy+ years old, she walks a mile uphill to work every day (quite literally) and realized this week that the $8/hour she earns isn’t “extra” like she previously thought. She needs it to make ends meet, so she’s eager to get back to it. She has no other choice.

She meandered over to the sink and put some cold water in her coffee. “Did I make it too strong today?” I chuckle. No, she just doesn’t want to overstay her welcome, so she’s cooling it off.

“We have nowhere to be,” I tell her. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”

She’s wearing an oversized yellow shirt, which is quite filthy upon closer inspection, and a pair of stretchy pants she haphazardly cut off to make shorts. She tells me her washing machine broke and the clothes are piling up in baskets and bins all over her house. “Could I give you a ride to the laundromat?” I ask. She can’t afford it right now, she says.

And as we sat there together, I found myself incredibly grateful she was brave enough to beseech a cup of coffee because it created an opportunity.

It was an opportunity to bless her, an opportunity I would’ve missed had it not been for her boldness. Because sometimes we need a push to step out beyond ourselves.

It ended up being an opportunity for her to have some breakfast and fellowship with people big and small before she returned to the drudgery of her tasks at home alone.

It was an opportunity for me to behold the pain and poverty of someone in my own neighborhood and help shoulder the burden alongside her. I may not be able to change her circumstances, but I sure can provide a hot cup of coffee and a listening ear.

This may sound weird, but I already know that God is going to provide her with a washing machine. I don’t know how or through whom, but I do know His heart for the poor.

********

My husband and I were sitting at the kitchen table the other night putting the finishing touches on our support letter, our very first attempt to raise money toward becoming full-time urban missionaries (if you missed the email or the Facebook announcement, you can view the letter here). It’s something we’ve been working towards for over a year now, always on the side, part-time, on a voluntary basis. But God is calling us to risk more, to go all in, and raising support is the first step in that direction.

Let’s be honest here for a second--it’s a difficult, humbling process. While we certainly need all the prayer and support we can muster, we also really, really need financial backers for our missions work to be sustainable.

“I just hate asking other people for money.” my husband said.

I know. Asking for money just feels….awkward, and it’s been holding us back for some time now.

But then I told him about the encounter with our neighbor earlier, how her being brave enough to ask for something she needed created an opportunity for me to step out of my comfort zone and bless her.

Her asking created an opportunity for her need and my resources to collide. Otherwise, I would’ve had more coffee than I could drink myself and she would’ve walked away hungry and thirsty. Even more, we both would’ve missed the opportunity to share our lives with each other and come out on the other side richer for it.

So I guess that’s what we’re offering you here today: an opportunity.

An opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, and in doing so, bless our family as we seek to pursue urban missions full-time with Envision Cleveland.

An opportunity to come alongside us as we minister to the poor and vulnerable in our own neighborhood and beyond. I promise, we will both walk away richer for it in ways money could never buy.

An opportunity to invest in the city of Cleveland and its people, whether it be physically via a missions trip with Envision, in support and prayer, or with a one-time or ongoing financial gift to our family. Think of it as us borrowing a cup of coffee a week. Or a cup a month. It’s really that simple.

I believe God has been working behind the scenes for over a decade to prepare our family for urban missions, and it will be my privilege to begin to share some of our story here on the blog in the months to come. I hope you’ll follow along with our journey to see what God continues to do in our family and in Cleveland, and if you’re interested in receiving our missions updates via email, you can sign up here!

And as always, please feel free to share! :)

Good {hard, frustrating, exhausting, messy} Works

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

This summer is just...different.

So far it’s noticeably cooler, today being no exception. I happen to love mid-70’s with a breeze so I’m thrilled, but the kids aren’t as excited about freezing to death during swimming lessons.

And the house is much quieter these days. One of the neighborhood kids moved away at the end of the school year, and although she’s less than a mile away, we haven’t seen her since. Another kid grew up a lot this past year and is on to bigger but not always better things. I’ve had to be more intentional about reaching out to the the kids who used to occasionally wander over on their own.

I don’t know that I realized the good works for what they were until they didn’t start happening as easily anymore. Until I had to work a little harder for opportunities and track down missing kids at different houses like I look for pacifiers under couches.

As much as I loved having those kids around all the time, they made for a lot of work. Because, you see, good works are often hard works and messy works and uncomfortable works at times, and those things tend to piss off an already stressed and overwhelmed momma. Just a little bit.

There was dirty shoes on the carpet and cursing in the kitchen. There were broken decorations and trampled belongings as their teenage feet bounded around the house. There were mature conversations to be confronted, again, due to the presence of little ears. There was fighting and name calling and punching and figuring out how to talk about things instead. Encouraging one another and talking about Jesus and our day at the dinner table.

But when you put a bunch of sinful people in a little house together, when you squeeze them all around a table like a pack of hotdogs, you’re bound to annoy and frustrate each other. Relationships are where you do the messy, uncomfortable work of loving, stretching, growing, compromising, forgiving, and offering grace, again. And again. Doing good works is hard work and it will inevitably piss you off, but I’m convinced now that’s how you know you’re doing it right.*

There were a million annoyances; there was abundant chaos, and yet, so much richness. So much love and acceptance, trust and truth. And these days when we have quiet afternoons (by “quiet,” I mean still probably louder than 99% of other houses, because 5 kids) of reading and crafts and movies and I can hear the trees dancing outside in the summer breeze, I find myself missing it and hoping they’d walk through the front door.**

We tend to think that if we’re “doing God’s will,” participating in the work He has for us while we’re here, that it will be easy. That the road will be free of bumps and curves and we won’t stumble as the doors open wide ahead of us. But I’ve found just the opposite to be true. That death is unavoidably tethered to new life like winter comes before spring and the sunshine after the rain.

It’s God’s plan of redemption, of making all things new, of grace. It’s the way to a life that is rich and deep and exhausting and fulfilling in a way that a sterile, safe, comfortable life never could be, for it’s found in laying it down.
 

*Would you like to partner with us as we love, serve, and share Jesus with those who are vulnerable and hurting in Cleveland? We’d love for you to walk this journey alongside us. Find out more HERE.

**Y’all, as I tapped out the final words of that sentence on my dusty keyboard, I heard the telltale knock of the neighborhood kids at our front door for the first time in almost two months. No joke. God is busy answering prayers before we’re even aware of our need or have the wherewithal to utter them from our lips. Never doubt that.

10 things I learned this spring

For the first time, I joined in on the What We Learned series with Emily P. Freeman, where we pause to reflect on this past season before moving on to a new one. Here's a random list of 10 things I learned this spring:

1. The most unexpected turns in life can bring the greatest joy.

Years ago, if you would've asked if we would be living in the inner-city, currently raising money to become full-time missionaries, building relationships with the local homeless and the teen/gay community around our own kitchen table, have FIVE children, and so many other things, I would’ve said there’s NO WAY. Not us, no how, no sir. We didn't ask for this, God. We wanted the important careers and the beautiful home and the privileged life. Thankfully He had other plans, because He’s made our lives the richest in ways I never could’ve dreamed.

2. With the fifth child, pretty much anything goes.

If you’d like to become a more relaxed and chill parent, just have more children than you have lobes of your brain. Then you won’t have the sanity or the energy to make a big deal out of non-life-threatening things. For example: "Oh, you picked the dog's dental bone up off the floor and decided to eat it? Ok, cool. That means I don’t need to brush your teeth later, right?" #parentfail #getusedtoit #newnormal

3. I like creating memes.

The whole business side of writing/blogging is overwhelming, but I’m learning. I also learned that I really enjoy creating memes! So yay!

4. Laughing with my kids is fun.

And I don’t do it nearly enough. Laughter diffuses anger and stress, ushers in a spirit of comradery, and creates light-hearted, fun memories.

5. I have never owned my mornings.

Mornings have always been something that happened to me...and I hated morning for it. This was an eye-opening revelation, and so I wrote a little about it {What You Think About Mornings Could Affect Your Entire Day}.

6. There is always enough food.

The neighborhood teens have a knack of showing up at our house right before dinner. Probably because they have no one to cook dinner for them, or maybe because they just want to get away from the chaos that is their home life. Regardless of the reason, I always cringe a little inside when they walk through the door as I'm getting dinner on the table. I can't help but wonder if there'll be enough food to feed everyone.

I don’t know what it is about our sinful nature, but I always feel the nagging urge to store away for myself, for my family, ever doubtful of God’s ability to provide, to turn the not-enough into more than enough. But by His grace, I surrender my fears and serve dinner to whomever wishes to eat, however much they want to eat, and friends, the truth is time and again, there’s always enough food.

7. I love a bouquet of fresh flowers on the table.

For years I avoided buying them because I thought it was a waste. They’ll die soon anyway, I’d think. I’ll forget to water them. I’m not a plant person, I’d tell myself. As it turns out, I actually love them! And they also make for pretty Instagram photos. :)

8. Life with littles is the hardest.

The baby started walking this spring, and there’s absolutely no way around this fact. The need is constant, as is the disasterizing of our house for sport. He’s as cute as he is ornery, and is himself a full-time job, not to mention the other children. I’m exhausted by dinner.

9. Perhaps I will never feel like a competent writer.

My next thought: did I spell "competent" right? Lol. That would be both ironic and sad. I do wonder, however, if I will ever feel confident in my ability, and I wrote a little about those feelings here {For When Words Fail Me}.

10. It’s important to keep showing up anyway.

My daughter said this morning, as she was sitting down to create, “I really have no idea what I’m doing. I’m just winging it.” And I thought, aren’t we all?? But we keep showing up at the table anyway and trust that God take it from there. He creates the most beautiful masterpiece.

The photos are from my Instagram feed, and you can follow along with me there!

What are some things you learned this spring???